After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Congratulations! We have a period
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