thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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