I seem to have left my pride at pride
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
