If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
