My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
