I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
