I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
