did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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