Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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