the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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