yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
