so explain again why im purple
no
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
