arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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