i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
