ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
