I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
