im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
