Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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