So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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