I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize