He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
