If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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