3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
