Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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