Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
