i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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