Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
