you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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