im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize