WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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