the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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