I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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