I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
