her vagine was all disorganized.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
