The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
