ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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