Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
