I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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