Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
