Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize