You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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