I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
