I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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