i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Green mimosas i think yes
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
