You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
