What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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