On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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