Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
