Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
