I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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