Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
