ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
