She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
