i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
be right there i have to get my cape
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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