What a fucking waste of an outfit
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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