Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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