Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
