If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize