You just made me feel so damn special
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
