they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
