I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
