Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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