Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
