Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
