life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
