there was a trapeze. enough said
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
